- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
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